Winning Strategies for Pornography Addiction Recovery and Treatment

I struggled for a long time with porn addiction because I did not have a written plan to quit. I would act out on a regular basis and say to myself, “I don’t want to do that again!” and then I would forget how I previously felt and go back to porn again. Failing to plan, is planning to fail. It is important to have a written game plan to beat pornography addiction. Addiction is a mighty adversary and requires forethought in order to be successful. What is your plan when addiction shows up next in your life? What are you going to do?

5 Easy Steps for Creating a Game Plan to Beat Pornography Addiction

1. Make the decision you want to quit pornography - write it down!
2. Remove all the addictive material from your surroundings - let it go!
3. Decide what you will do when the pornography cravings show up next - call a friend or sponsor, take a walk, pray, go to the gym, write in your journal, read recovery material, post on a blog.
4. When the addict shows up, review the written game plan - it is a good idea to keep a copy of it with you at all times.
5. Follow the plan - this is so simple, yet it is the most difficult step to complete - with a plan and determination all things are possible.

The game plan does not need to be complicated in order to beat porn addiction and remember life is better after porn addiction.

It takes a lot more than will power or white knuckling to quit porn. I don’t believe it is necessary to find god or get spiritual in order to abstain from pornography, however it can’t hurt to have a power greater than ourselves to turn to while recovering. In 12 step programs, this is referred to as a higher power.

The important thing to focus on is that we must find something or someone more powerful than ourself that can help us when the going gets tough and are we are tested. A higher power can give us courage, strength, and confidence when we need it the most.

Define your “higher power” and then you will have more than “will power” to quit porn.

Are you struggling with internet pornography addiction, yet keep your internet connection active?

I have a simple solution to curb your internet porn access.

Cancel your internet connection.

I know it is foreign to think a person in today’s world is able to survive without a internet connection, however it is completely possible. For many internet porn addicts it is not necessary to avoid the internet all together, it is just necessary to avoid the internet in private places like the home or office. There are plenty of locations to get access in public like a library or a coffee shop to check e-mail, do work and surf normally. I have never had much success with filter programs. I was always able to disable them or find ways around the screening program.

Here are 5 common excuses why people won’t cut the cable.

1. My kids need access to the internet. There are plenty of safe places for kids to get online like the library or school. Anyway, if you are surfing porn they might be doing the same thing.
2. My significant other needs access for work. They can get a mobile wireless card from their cell phone provider and have a private password and keep it locked up when not in use.
3. I need the internet for my work. What is more important? Your health or your work? Internet pornography addiction is a gateway to many other sexual addictions. Today it is viewing pornography online, tomorrow it is visiting prostitutes.
4. I will be out of touch with the world. Wrong. Get a newspaper and pick up the phone. Read number 3 again.
5. I just don’t want to. Quitting internet pornography requires willingness and if you are not willing, you will not recover. Guaranteed.

It may not be necessary to disconnect the computer forever, however it will be necessary to keep it disconnected until you are strong enough to say no to internet pornography. It is fun to discover what life is like without the computer. I discovered I like to bike and write in my journal.

What will you do?

When I first sat down at my computer this evening, I was originally going to write about failure and what happens if we initially fail on our road to recovery from pornography addiction. After careful consideration, I thought it may be better to repackage failure as premature success. In order to succeed, we must first fail and keep trying. If we don’t fail along the way to recovery, we may not be able to appreciate true success. For many of us, the road to recovery is not a smooth one. I heard a great affirmation recently that summed up the role of failure well.

“I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed, and the number of times I succeed are in direct proportion to the number of times I fail and keep trying.”

What is your definition of success? In Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, the addictive behaviors we want to stop are called “bottom lines.” If we have broken a bottom line it is considered a “slip.” A slip is a break in continuous sobriety.

If we fail, we keep trying until we succeed.

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So, your child is addicted to pornography?

Here are 3 action items to help you and your child cope with this difficult realization and work towards recovery.

1. Offer loving support, and talk openly to your child about what they are doing to their body.

They probably don’t realize they are addicted even if they are out of control. In my situation, as a child I tried to stop looking at pornography on many occasions, but failed over and over again. At the time, I had no clue I had an addiction. I was under the impression I just enjoyed viewing pornography and liked it too much to quit. Little did I know.

It is a blessing you learned about your child’s pornography addiction and can be a part of their recovery. It is now time for you both to educate yourselves about the addiction.

2. Get professional help for you and your child.

It is an addiction which is cunning and baffling and your child will not be able to quit for any extended period of time on their own. Counseling or therapy is going to be their best chance for success at this point. If your child is under the age of 18, I would not suggest SLAA or SAA. These groups are adult oriented and not suitable for children.

Do not try to humiliate your child for what they are doing. They most likely already feel a great sense of shame. Pornography addiction is correlated to low self esteem. I would use pornography on a regular basis to manage my emotions. The sooner your child confronts their reasons for using porn the better the chance they will have at early success. Professional help will begin the healing process.

3. Remove the Source

Where is your child finding pornography? To be successful, it may be necessary to cancel internet access. Internet pornography is highly pervasive and easily accessible. Some suggest internet filter software programs, however I have yet to find one that I have not been able to fool. It is much easier to succeed if the temptation is not available.

It may also be necessary to cut the cable on cable tv. There are television programs on regular cable which are sexually suggestive and even explicit. I can think of several late night television programs on basic cable with nudity. Get out the rabbit ears. It will do everyone in the family good to watch less television.

Clear out your own “private” stash of pornography. It may not be so private or hidden. I remember rummaging through my parents dresser drawers looking for pornographic videos and magazines. Sadly, I found several and watched them whenever I was alone in the house and had a chance. Would you keep drugs in your home if you found your son or daughter was a drug addict? Of course not.

Also, do you subscribe to Victoria’s Secret catalog or any other similar catalog or magazine? My mother did and I checked the mailbox every day for the next issue.

For an addict, all these sources are triggers or devices for acting out sexually.

Start with these action items and your child will be on the road to recovery.

For other resources check out my Tools for Recovery page.